Couples Counseling in Chicago, IL

Couples Counseling in Chicago, IL

You and your partner have been struggling for the last few months, You find yourself exhausted from constantly arguing and getting nowhere. It’s one of the most challenging times in your relationship because you feel so emotionally and physically distant. The grief and loss you have experienced have only deepened this divide. You want your relationship back. It might feel hopeless where you end up not knowing what else to do.

You’re both feeling hurt and overwhelmed, and life’s pressures aren't making it any easier. It seems like everything you do or say is wrong, and you’re running out of ideas on how to help each other. Misaligned schedules add to the stress, and it’s hard to remember the last time you had a positive interaction to talk things through.

Couples Counseling Chicago

Arguments often lead to lonely nights. One of you might want to talk about what happened, while the other doesn’t. There’s a constant heaviness surrounding your relationship. Deep down, you know your relationship isn’t unhealthy or toxic, but the grief and loss you’ve faced are keeping you from connecting the way you used to.

You might have thought about couples counseling but felt unsure if it would really help. It’s scary and vulnerable to “air your dirty laundry” to a stranger, especially when you see familiar patterns from your own families emerging. Both of you have experienced past traumas that are now affecting your relationship.

 

My name is Shirley, and I provide mental health therapy in Chicago, IL!

Hi, I’m Shirley Khong, LCPC (#180.015179) and I provide mental health therapy for individuals and couples in Chicago, IL. I help kindhearted people who are constantly taking care of others break unhealthy patterns that create stress and anxiety. Those who are tired from feeling out of control, shrinking yourself, or that you don’t have a voice worth listening to.

I am located in Chicago, IL and provide online therapy for those in Illinois.

Book a free 15-minute consult with me via Zoom to see if therapy is right for you and how I can best support you. Let's create a personalized plan to help you move beyond anxiety and depression, starting your journey to relief sooner.

How I can help!

I work with couples who are committed to strengthening their relationship, especially those who have faced grief and loss that have affected their emotional and physical intimacy to transform conflict into a way to connect, rather than allowing it to cause harm.

In the beginning, couples may experience awkward or heated exchanges. Together, we slow down and observe the patterns in your interactions, such as body language, communication styles, and learned family dynamics. In time, you will both use tools to have open and meaningful talks that feel easy and go beyond our sessions.

You'll feel calmer and more sure when facing problems in your relationship. You'll get used to sharing your weaknesses with your partner, and see disagreements as a chance to bond. Change happens gradually as we focus on how we engage in conflict, rather than just what is said.

Conflicts between you two may increase some weeks, but remember it's normal. We are rebuilding a relationship system and that takes time, courage, and kindness to yourselves. I ask all my couples to practice the exercises we discussed in our session during the week and bring back their reflections. Couples counseling works BEST when BOTH parties are committed to making changes to improve their relationship.

If this resonates with you, I’m here to help. Together, we can navigate through the grief and loss, rebuild your connection, and find a path forward.

Schedule a 15-minute consultation with me and see how therapy can support you both.

 

FAQs

  • When clients start couples counseling, their progress typically depends on their level of commitment to making changes.

    Some couples may achieve their desired outcomes in about 8-12 sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term therapy.

  • For couples, my rate is $220 for a 50 minute session. I use Reimbursify for my Out-of-Network client insurance reimbursements. You can click on the link to set up your Reimbursify account.

  • In each session, we reflect upon the previous one to open up discussion if there were any lingering questions, comments, or concerns. I always make sure to meet my clients where they are at for the day.

    Some clients come in with an agenda and we focus on one at a time. Others may not have specific issues to address, and in such cases, we observe the dynamics that unfold during our conversations. Those patterns may lead to insights that they did not notice before.

  • If couples counseling doesn't work, it can be due to various reasons, such as lack of commitment, unresolved individual issues, or incompatibility. In such cases, it may be helpful to:

    Reevaluate Goals: We would reassessing and clarifying the goals of counseling together.

    Try Different Approaches: We may need to consider trying different therapeutic techniques or a receive a referral to a different counselor.

    Individual Counseling: Each partner may benefit from individual counseling to address personal issues.

    Consider Other Options: Explore alternative solutions, such as mediation or legal advice, if the relationship cannot be reconciled.

    Open Communication: Maintain open communication with your partner about your feelings and concerns regarding the process.

  • I understand that life happens and we can’t always predict unexpected or emergency scenarios. However, I do ask that if it is an emergency (not a work conflict), that you or your partner let me know as soon as you can.

    The session slot, (i.e. Mondays at 2pm), will be yours until we terminate our meetings. If you feel that the day and time needs to be adjusted since we had to reschedule them, please let me know and I would be happy to change to a time that works for both of us.

    Unfortunately, I cannot reschedule another client if you do not attend the session. If it is a late cancellation, you will be charged the full fee and your insurance will not cover cancelled sessions. Item description

  • If a client is 5 minutes late for our meeting, I will be sending out an email to ask if you are available to attend the session. If I do not receive a response within 10 minutes, you will be charged the late cancellation fee.

    If we run into three consecutive rescheduled or late cancellation meetings, we will need to discuss if the time aligns with your schedule or if you would like a referral.

    Goodness of fit, communication, and consistent meeting times are beneficial to seeing improvements.

  • I highly encourage clients to take necessary time off when they need it. Or if you have an exciting opportunity to move in your profession.

    In those cases, please let me know of an upcoming or scheduled vacation or job interview as early as possible so that you will not be charged.

  • I will make sure that whenever I will be out of town/the country, to let you know 2-4 weeks in advance. There will be coverage by one of my colleagues with their name and contact information if emergency sessions are needed.

    Every quarter (beginning of March, June, September, and December), I will be taking a few days off. Before I take time off in our last session, we will discuss any feedback or check-ins needed.