Anxiety Therapist Chicago, IL for Adults Navigating Breakups and Relationship Patterns

I work with people post-breakup/divorce so they don’t do it again next time.

Support for Self-Sabotage, Boundaries, and Healing After Toxic Relationships

You learned early on how to take care of others.

You became the dependable one. The one who stayed quiet, kept the peace, and did what was expected. You learned how to read the room, anticipate needs, and avoid conflict, even when it meant ignoring your own.

Over time, this didn’t just become something you did. It became who you believed you had to be.

Now, you might find yourself in a new relationship that feels different. Safer. More respectful. More supportive.

And yet, something still feels off inside.

You second-guess yourself. You feel guilty for having needs. You feel anxious when there is even the smallest disagreement. You might notice yourself holding back, shutting down, or wondering if you are the problem.

This is often how self-sabotage anxiety shows up.

Not because you are broken. But because your nervous system learned that staying small, quiet, and accommodating was the safest way to be.

If you are looking for an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, you are in the right place.

 

Services I provide

 
 

Anxiety Therapy

anxiety therapist chicago il

Couples Counseling

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Intergenerational Trauma Therapy

 

When Anxiety and Self-Sabotage Keep You Stuck

As an anxiety therapist in Chicago, IL, I help people who spend so much of their lives taking care of others that they’ve forgotten how to care for themselves. You’re often the strong one, the one who sacrifices, the one who stays silent to keep the peace. But inside, you’re exhausted.

You may feel like you are finally in a healthier relationship, but your body has not caught up yet.

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You might notice:

  • Feeling physically sick or emotionally overwhelmed during a conflict

  • Struggling to say what you actually think or feel

  • Questioning whether leaving your past relationship was the right decision

  • Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions

  • Ignoring your own needs or not knowing what they are

  • Pulling back or shutting down when things start to feel close or vulnerable

These patterns are not random.

They often learned from growing up in environments where their needs were not prioritized, where they had to adapt quickly, and where love felt unpredictable or conditional.

Your system learned how to survive…Now, it just needs help learning something new.

Hi, I’m Shirley!

anxiety therapist chicago il

Hanging out with my dog-nephew!

 

A Space Where You Can Reconnect With Yourself

I see you, the anxious people-pleaser juggling too much, feeling drained and unseen. You’re the peacemaker and problem-solver, but your needs usually fall to the bottom of your to-do list.

Our goal is to help you slow down, reconnect with your strengths, and rebuild a more compassionate and grounded relationship with yourself.

I lovingly describe myself as an “emotional translator” for my clients. Someone who helps give you a voice to the feelings you’ve learned to silence, minimize, or judge as being “too much”, especially when life feels too busy or overwhelming to process.

The goal isn’t for you to stay in therapy forever, but to help you feel more grounded, gain clearer insights into your needs, and feel supported in building healthier relationships with yourself and others.

How I Help You Move Forward

Everyone is going to see progress differently.

Here are the ways my clients experienced change together:

  • Speaking up without guilt

  • Feeling grounded and calm, even when anxiety shows up

  • Understanding and honoring feelings, instead of fearing them

  • Setting boundaries without feeling selfish

  • Exploring goals, dreams, and relationships with courage

  • Humanizing and empathizing with others

  • Leaving toxic relationships or environments with clarity

  • Healing their relationship with intimacy, sexuality, grief, and their bodies

  • Parenting in a way that breaks destructive intergenerational cycles

  • Experiencing life with more peace, confidence, and connection

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You do not have to stay in the role of the caretaker if it no longer fits who you are becoming.

Healing Self-Sabotage Anxiety

anxiety therapist chicago
 

Learning to Trust Yourself Again

Self-sabotage is often misunderstood.

It is not about you getting in your own way on purpose.

It is a protective response. A part of you that is trying to keep you safe from rejection, conflict, or emotional pain.

In therapy, we do not get rid of that part of you.

We become curious about it. We honor it. Give it the mic.

We understand what it is afraid of. We listen to what it needs. And we help it learn that you are no longer in the same environment you once were.

This is how real change happens.

Not through force, but through understanding, curiosity, and respect.

You are allowed to want more

 
  • You are allowed to have needs.

  • You are allowed to take up space in your relationships.

  • You are allowed to feel your emotions without apologizing for them.

  • You are allowed to build a life that reflects who you are now, not just who you had to be to survive.

  • Therapy gives you the space to explore that, at your own pace.

anxiety therapist chicago il

Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL

Taking the first step can feel intimidating, especially if you are used to putting yourself last.

You do not have to have everything figured out before reaching out.

If you are ready to start understanding yourself in a new way and begin healing from patterns of anxiety and self-sabotage, I invite you to connect.

No pressure. Click the link below to explore what support could look like for you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Blog Posts from an Anxiety Therapist in Chicago, IL